When Time Catches Up With Us

When time catches up with us we can realise some important things about ourselves.

One of my main aims in the whole 'self-improvement'/'mood-improvement' things has been to make time for myself, and have free time! I notoriously hate free time, I've never known why, just that if I find myself with even an hour spare, I will get bored and find a way to busy myself. I've just never liked free time and even when I'm ill or have been doing something strenuous 7 days a week for weeks I can't take more than a day, maybe two, before getting incredibly bored and needing to find a way to busy myself.
But recently I've been deliberately trying to plan in free time to my schedule and this week I've found myself with 2 whole afternoons off (crazy I know, one's even been a Saturday!)
But now I find myself with free time, I know why I hate it. Some I've used to catch up on all the niggly things that always need done but there never seems time for. Once they're all done then...noting.
Not even sleep.
And there it is, I've discovered it! Why I hate free time: it is apparently a main cause of my insomnia. Yay. It's not just a personality type- my love of no free time. Apparently it's something I can't do, apparently the only way I can get to sleep is to literally mentally and physically run myself into the ground, and then, even then, I may not get to sleep. *sigh* If only life were simple (loljks I would hate that)(ps I promise never to use the phrase "loljks" again)

I saw something interesting on tv - talking about girls who like bad boys, how it's some kind of safety net. Subconsciously they know how it's going to end and that makes it safe. There's a guarantee of what's going to happen and that creates a safety around it.
This intrigued me, do I look for those I know are unsuitable because I know nothing can actually happen or do I just like a challenge.
Personally I feel I just like a challenge, and there's something fun in a challenge. But maybe there's something to be said for safe, secure and comfortable.
But then what if those kinds of guys don't like me?
Ha, had you going for a minute didn't I.
Lets be realistic, I really don't care. I feel no need to read into my choice of partner, male or female, because as long as I'm having fun and no one's getting hurt then there's no problem in life...