New Day

Today is a new day and with it I have decided on a new attitude, from now on positivity and positive outlooks on life.
If only it were this simple.
The negative thoughts and feelings become a cocoon, they became safe and known place to hide. They may not be bearable or plesant but they stop other unknown feelings, one's which you may not know existed and ones which can hurt and cut deep in a way you may not have known existed.
But also isn't that the point of life? That the light would be nothing without the dark, but that it can make it worth it?
Maybe that's the problem, maybe I haven't found my light yet, so all I am is surrounded by shadows. Well no longer. I can be my own light, and I can find my own way and face my own fears, whatever they may be.
All I have to do is get through the festive period with my own personal devil and if I can do that then I can do anything.

So here and now I declare it, I declare that I shall bring my own light, and I shall chase away my own shadows. I shall look positively on all situations and I shall recognise that this is neither an easy or quick thing to do but my time shall come and I shall get there, to a happier place. For maybe one day I can be free.

This to shall pass.

I guess what we do is we throw ourselves into the darkness, so deep and so far that we hope it cannot touch us, that it cannot reach us within it's depths. We aim to become immune, much like the clownfish and enenomi, by surrounding ourselves with darkness so much and for so long that it can no longer harm us. The problem is that whilst we become immune, and can no longer feel it effects, the effects are still there. Still corroding our inner selves till we are no longer able to return to the light for fear of what we might see. But I am no longer afraid, no longer shall  hide in the darkness, I shall come out into reality and hope to find my feet in the shining sun.

Or even just the shade, the shade would do for now, for a first step.